A note before we start.

If you are new to this mailing list - welcome! You can find past editions of these ‘mindful letters’ on the Practical Guidance page of the website including how to savour joy, be kind to yourself and find resilience in the world of school leadership. But for now, let’s turn to today…

I’m thinking of the days
I don't forget a single day, believe me

The Kinks

Letting the day go.

As school leaders, we spend our days rushing from one task to another, from one meeting to another, often from one crisis to another. We care, we feel responsible, we worry on behalf of those we lead. It’s no wonder many of us have a hard time switching off at the end of the day. I am reminded of this powerful tweet from Stephen Tierney (author of the brilliant book - Educating with Purpose; The heart of what matters) on retiring from headship:

Leadership has come at a cost to me and my family. It wasn’t the hours I spent working that did me in, it was the hours I worried about the work that took their toll on me. Looking back over the past thirty years, it has been the inability to switch off that has been more relentless than the actual hours physically working. I may have stopped work hours before but my brain just keeps ticking over. Just a thought, most of the things I’ve worried about either haven’t happen or they weren’t the really big problems I had imagined them to be. 

How many of us can resonate with this and how can Mindfulness help?

How Mindfulness can help.

Each time we move ‘bodily’ or shift ‘mentally’ we are in a ‘point of' transition’. This can be after a conversation, a phone call, a meeting or at the end of the school day. We can choose what we carry over from this one moment to the next, from one conversation to the next - be it a thought, an emotion or a general sense of contentment, gratitude, irritation or overwhelm.

Unless we are able to let these go, regularly during the day, by the time we come to the end of our day we are metaphorically carrying round with us a huge sack of images, feelings and thoughts that we then take home. So we sit with this sack on our knee in the company of family, friends or sometimes pets, and although we are bodily at home, in our minds we may be somewhere else entirely. Mindfulness practice - coming into the ‘present moment’ and building pauses into our day - encourages us to lay the sacks down and breathe.

I recently spoke to Siân, a Head teacher in London, about the impact of the Mindfulness work I have been doing with her and her staff. One particular benefit she shared really resonated:

At the end of the day I still take work home with me but I no longer take the day home as well. 

Through her Mindfulness practice she can now let go of the day (read more about this in her guest blog, or listen to the full conversation here). But how? By using these ‘points of transition’ as an opportunity to stop, check in, savour and pause - to lighten the mental burden at the end of the day.

Here’s how…

A note on this practices. These are very simply an opportunity for you to try a practice and see what happens without expectation. Self judgment and doubt may arise in thoughts such as “am I doing this right?” or “I am not sure this is for me”. Notice these thoughts and, as best you can, be curious, be kind to yourself and let them go!

Stop. Check in. Savour. Pause.

STOP

S : During a ‘point of transition’ in the day, after a phone conversation, a meeting, a lesson etc, stop – yes, literally this. Take one minute to pause.

T: Take a breath. Most of the day we breathe very shallowly, so intentionally breathe slowly and deeply. 

O: Observe. Ask yourself ‘what mental burden am I carrying right now?’ As you take some good deep breaths, on the out breath, let the shoulders drop. As the shoulders drop allow the mental burden to drop, like heavy shopping bags, to the ground.

P: Proceed into the next moment of your day. Perhaps you’ll find you’re a little lighter of step and a little clearer of mind.

Check in

On your commute home – at every red light, or when the tube or bus doors open and close use this as a cue to ask ‘Where’s my body? Where’s my mind? What’s my mood right now?’ Name what you notice - worry, tiredness, overwhelm, anticipation, relief - and use it to bring yourself intentionally into the present moment. 

Savour

As you come toward your home, to your front door, pause and savour what you see; the tree with a few more buds on it, kids toys in the yard, the neighbour’s cat sunning itself. Allow the recognition of ‘home’ to be fully felt. Breathe out and let those thought-laden shopping bags drop one more time. 

Pause

Deliberately build regular pauses into the day, especially when moving from one place to another. Make it part of your routine. I learnt about this when I spent time at the Indigenous American school in Santa Fe which was a revelation. When I asked them why they do this, they replied. The body moves faster than the heart or soul, we pause to allow the heart and soul to catch up. We pause to become ‘whole again’.  Why not try a pause to become ‘whole again’ as you arrive at your destination?

I am home

Finally, if you get to the end of the day, and none of the above has been possible - as Thich Naht Hahn suggests - simply saying quietly ‘I have arrived, I am home’ can be enough. 

If you have time to go further, why not check out Siân’s blog where she describes how Mindfulness has impacted her leadership presence, her day to day life in the school and her staff.

A reflection to leave you with…

Want to develop your leadership practice further?

Just head to the Courses page of the website! Here you’ll discover bespoke courses suited to the needs of you and your team, designed to help build resilience, find gratitude and better serve the teachers and children in your school.

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Maggie
maggie@maggiefarrar.co.uk