Still, still, still
One can hear the failing snow

 Traditional Austrian Christmas Lullaby

How to cultivate stillness

It's the familiar start of any zoom meeting or workshop; ‘how’s everyone?’ we ask. ‘Yeah OK’, ‘not bad’, ‘good’, come the responses. In workshops with leaders this week I asked again, ‘how are you really?’.  The responses came immediately: ‘frantic, crazy busy, buzzy, speedy, juggling, ploughing through, on my knees’.

In other words, we are over-stretched, over-scheduled, over-stimulated, and on constant high alert. A state that we know drives anxiety and exhaustion, is erosive of our wellbeing, and leaves us depleted.

The end of term is always time when we are driven to meet deadlines and can feel constantly on the move. Giving ourselves permission to ‘be still’, can be a gift at the end of this particular tough term.

I recently came across ‘Stillness Is the Key’ by Ryan Holiday, in which he looks at the power of being ‘still’, which is especially important he says, at times of adversity.  Karen Lawson Psychologist and Clinical Director of Anxiety Recovery Programmes in the US also tells us that ‘simply being still is a way of replenishing our stores – it’s an anti stress fix.’ She describes it as ‘a moment of chill time’, which isn’t a habit of checking out, but a practice of checking in.

How Mindfulness can help.

Mindfulness helps us to be aware of physical and mental restlessness, to know when we are ‘revved up’ and not still. We notice when our minds are wandering, often ruminating about the past or the future. We are aware of breathing shallowly. We recognise the sensation of restlessness in our body, that tells us we are poised, on high alert for the next challenge or crisis.

This awareness of body and mind also helps us to notice when we are actively preventing stillness. The moments when we are suddenly distracted, caught by that short burst of dopamine the cell phone can provide, the ever demanding drumbeat of our ‘to do list ’that gets our adrenaline fired up, or by saying ‘yes’ to yet one more demand for our time and attention, that makes us feel momentarily valued.

As humans we crave stillness, because it’s a balm for mind, body and spirit. It creates moments when we can choose to re-balance and settle ourselves. It paves the way for mental clarity and greater leadership presence. But it doesn’t arise automatically and it can be hard to come by in busy schools. Instead has to be intentionally cultivated.

How might we do this?

Stillness of the body

The posture we take cultivates the practice of stillness.This can be as simple as being intentional about how we sit and carry ourselves. When we sit or stand still, with an upright back and a straight posture, we become more aware of our tendency to react to every physical or mental impulse. We are more able to notice our thoughts, and to become aware of them them as passing mental fabrications. We are less likely to get lost in them. 

Try this the next time you take a seat - in a meeting, on the bus, or in an office:

• Create a stable base with both feet on the floor. Open up your sense to the feeling of the ground beneath your feet;

• Lift up your pelvis slightly and bring your back away from the back of the chair so the body can find its own balance and sense of stillness;

• Let your spine be long and open, and your belly soft.This posture of ‘noble intent’, implies both toughness in our back, with kindness and compassion in our front;

• Allow your shoulders to drop and your head to balance on your neck. Be upright with a soft forward gaze;

• Now take 3/4 breaths, bringing your attention to the slightly longer out breaths. This stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, down regulates stress hormones and slows your heart rate;

• Take a moment now to sense the experience of sitting with the body a little more balanced, stable, and still.

Why not stop and adjust your posture now before you read on and see how it feels?

Stillness in movement

But we don't have to sit like a statue in order to cultivate stillness. It’s possible to find stillness in movement, by bringing our attention fully to the sensations in the body as we walk, run, dance or swim.  

As we walk we bring our attention fully to the feel of the ground beneath our feet as we take each step. When we run we can focus our attention on the beat of our heart, or our breath entering and leaving the body. Swimming underwater can feel like the last quiet and still place on earth.

We can use the breath to help down regulate our nervous system as we move.  So next time you run, or walk or swim, use your breath as an anchor, gently saying to your self ‘breathing in calm, breathing our ease’, ‘breathing in strength, breathing out fear’, or whatever phrases are most helpful for you.  Focusing our attention on the breath, and allowing the words to drop into our minds will help help create inner stillness whilst in motion.

Stillness of the mind

The experience of being outwardly still, but inwardly in turmoil is very common. In mindfulness practice we are not trying to empty the mind. We practice in order to have a wise relationship with the mind, and to allow it to settle, even slightly. We can settle and still the mind by expanding our awareness of the present moment, fully immersing ourselves in it, being highly curious about it and savouring it.

• Try naming your thoughts and feelings as you experience them ie ‘anxiety is here, planning is here, regret is here, anticipation is here’.

• At the same time as you acknowledge your thoughts, scan your senses – tune into what you see, and hear. Become curious about smells (the smell of school is very distinctive!). What does fresh air actually smell like?

The more we open up our senses, by noticing thoughts, sight, sounds and smells the more our mental narrative will be less dominant, the mind will settle, and the more we will experience a sense of ‘quietude’ and stillness.

If you have time to go further listen to Pico Ayer, the author of The Art of Stillness exploring strategies we can all use to take micro moments of ‘time out’, in the midst of today’s demanding world.