“Between the stimulus and the response there is a space, and in this space lies our power and our freedom.” Viktor Frankel

Well. It’s been quite a fortnight.

Entering lockdown and continuing to lead our schools as they stay open. The anxiety, joy and relief of the US election. For those of us in Australia, leaving lockdown and seeing family and friends again. The news of the Pfizer vaccine. 

Our moods and emotions are strapped into a roller coaster ride at the moment aren’t they? I was in a Mindfulness group this week with Principals from Melbourne and we reflected on how being fully aware of our changing emotions is so important right now. This week, I want to explore how Mindfulness can help.

Mindfulness of emotions and mood

Emotions can be a powerful force in our daily lives. Our habitual reaction to positive ones is to want to hang onto them and often to have more of them. In the same way we tend to push negative emotions away, judge ourselves for feeling them or try to avoid them in the first place. Both are fleeting and both influence how we ‘show up’ for ourselves and the teams we lead.

Mindfulness offers us an alternative. It helps us to gently ‘be with’ emotions as a way of allowing them to release their hold on us, developing the vocabulary to shift our thoughts away from “I am hopeful” or “I am anxious”  to “Hope is here”, “Anxiety is here”. We practice ‘de-centering’, cultivating the understanding that - “I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions”. Sounds counter intuitive doesn't it? 

In fact, such a seemingly small shift can be liberating.

Try this…

A note on practices. These are very simply an opportunity for you to try a practice and see what happens without expectations. Self judgment may arise in the form of thoughts such as; “Am I doing this right?’, or self doubt in ‘I am not sure this is for me’. Notice these thoughts and as best you can, be curious, be kind to yourself and let them go!

The R.A.I.N Practice

R — Recognise What’s Going On

Stop what you are doing and take a moment to recognise an emotion or mood that’s arising. Try to name it without attaching it to you. ‘Here comes agitation. Here’s worry about the future. Here is that feeling of inadequacy. Here is gratitude. Joy is here’.

A—Allow; Take A Pause… Wait 

Let these sensations, feelings and thoughts simply be here. Whether the mood is pleasant or unpleasant, allow is to be fully present. Notice the impulse to push it away or seek distraction or to grab onto it and hold it for longer. Try to let the current experience, mood or emotion just be as it is.

I—Investigate 

Become curious. Ask yourself; ‘What’s going on right now? How is this emotion or mood showing itself in my body or in my mind? What am I believing about it?  Treat this like an enquiry and - most importantly - draw on kindness towards yourself. There will be a tendency to spiral upward, following an old familiar train of thought - that’s how the brain works. Take 2 or 3 deep breaths. Use your breath as an anchor to stay in your present moment, as it currently is, as best you can.

N—Nurture 

As we investigate these emotions, ask the questions “What do I need most right now?” and “What is the wisest action I could take?” As we start to see that who we are is not tied up with any one emotion they can gradually release their hold on us and the choices we make.

So… have a go. This habit of pausing and recognising moods and emotions by doing a quick scan of body, mind and heart can be used whenever it’s needed. Before you get out of the car at work, when you arrive at home or starting a team meeting. ‘What feelings, thoughts and emotions are here right now”, “Can I be with them, by allowing them to just be”.

The practice of R.A.I.N. and other every day mindfulness practices wont stop the roller coaster but they may help you to create that smallest of pauses, with kindness, compassion and curiosity that will help you to ride it more skillfully.

If you want to go further I’d recommend the brilliant Tara Brach - she explains the R.A.I.N practice a little more and guides an audio practice.

An invitation to Monthly Meet Ups!

In an effort to find ways we can support each other I would like to invite you to a monthly zoom get together on the first Monday of every month. These will be an opportunity to meet each other, practice together and share our leadership insights and experiences.

Date - Monday Dec 7, 2020
Time - 8pm (London time) & 7am (Victoria time)
Zoom Link - https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89090768651
Meeting ID: 890 9076 8651

(These times will allow as many of us to participate as possible from all over the world. If it proves a bit tricky for some, we can always re-assess but let’s give it a go!).

A poem to leave you with…

Got the time to explore Mindfulness further?

Head to the Resources page of the Empowering Leadership website for podcasts, articles, videos and more!