‘Though she be but little,
she is fierce’ 

Shakespeare: Midsummer Night's Dream

Handling overwhelm

As we hurtle toward the end of term, I have been hearing from school leaders that they feel buffeted by a tide of overwhelm saying: 'thank goodness there's only 4 weeks left', and 'only 4 weeks left, how am I going to get everything done!'

In her recent blog Margaret Clarke, Head of Training and Development at REAch2 Academy Trust, shares how her mindfulness practice has helped her to stay present and engaged in the richness of life despite the 'tide of overwhelm' that threatens to 'throttle' her.

She reflects on how in the past she would have managed deadlines 'piling up thick and fast', by steamrolling on, led by panic and consumed by overwhelm. 'I would have got the job done' she says 'but at great personal cost'. She now knows she can make a choice to step back when caught in overwhelm. She is able to regain cognitive control.

Daniel Goleman in his paper on 'The Focused Leader' stresses how important the ability to do this is for leaders saying; 'leaders with good cognitive control stay calm in a crisis, tame their own agitation and recover quickly from debacle or defeat.'

How Mindfulness can help.

When we are busy, it's easy to fall into the trap of setting ourselves unrealistic expectations that no super human would be able to meet. We can then fall into the trap of 'self-doubt', telling ourselves we're not good enough or 'I'll never get this done', and go down the same mental ruts time and time again. Rather than shifting our perspective about what's happening, we plough on, working even harder. We get the job done, but at what cost?

Mindfulness gives us the skill to notice when we are caught in this tide of overwhelm and helps us stop the downward spiral of negative rumination and over-work. It also gives us the opportunity to meet feelings of overwhelm with compassion and a greater openness to our own vulnerability.

The more we practice, the more we are able to 'find the gap' between what’s happening and our response.  Margaret has done just this when she says: ‘now when I feel panic rising in my body I pause, take a breath, centre myself by attending to what I am hearing, feeling, thinking. I wait in 'the gap' until I re-gain clarity. I then 'press play' and move on with a clear plan of action, a little calmer, wiser and more responsive.’

Like Helena in Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer Nights Dream’, she finds her courage and ‘fierceness’ in this gap, by inviting the ‘tiger to tea’.

This practice, of inviting our ‘tiger to tea’ is based on the 'R.A.I.N.' practice by Tara Brach. Primary school leaders, for many years, have loved the children's book of the same name by Judith Kerr. In the book, a tiger knocks on the door and comes in unannounced and uninvited. Rather than fleeing from it, Sophie and her mum invite it to tea. They observe it up close, they allow it 'to be' with them, until gradually, they lose any fear of it, and it leaves.

This practice, that really resonates with leaders, is one I invite you to do whenever you feel overwhelmed with thoughts, feelings or the demands of day to day life.

Mindfulness gives us the skill to notice when we are caught in this tide of overwhelm and helps us stop the downward spiral of negative rumination and over-work, while offering ourselves kindness and compassion.

R — Recognise What’s Going On

Stop what you are doing, and take a moment to recognise an emotion or mood that’s arising. Try to name it without attaching it to you. ‘Here comes agitation. Here’s worry about running out of time. Here's that feeling of inadequacy again and the impulse to work even harder’.

A—Allow; Take A Pause… Wait 

Now find the gap. Let these sensations, feelings and thoughts simply be here. Whatever is going on allow it to be fully present. Notice the impulse to push it away or seek distraction or to grab onto it and hold it for longer. Try to let the current experience, mood or emotion just be as it is.

I—Investigate 

Become curious. Ask yourself; ‘What’s going on right now? How is this emotion or mood showing itself in my body or in my mind? What am I believing about it?’ Treat this like an enquiry and - most importantly - be kind to yourself.

N—Nurture 

Now move to a re-set. As we investigate these emotions, ask the questions, ‘What do I need most right now?, and ‘What is the wisest action I could take?’, then proceed.

This practice helps us to see that who we are does not have to be wrapped up with our thoughts, moods or emotions. We are whole and good enough. Like Margaret, we can 're-gain clarity, then press play and move on with a clear plan of action, a little calmer, wiser and more responsive.'

If you have time to go further take a look at this article on the practice of RAIN including Tara Brach guiding an audio practice.