‘Gratitude is the foundation of a joyful existence’

Julia Baird: Author

Giving thanks

This week, as US friends and colleagues are celebrating Thanksgiving, my thoughts have turned to the practice of 'giving thanks'. Julia Baird in her lovely book Phosphorescence and things that sustain us when the world goes dark, explores how practicing gratitude brings us closer to the present moment. She notes that it helps us to cherish what we have, rather than focusing on what we lack. The practice of gratitude, she says, opens our hearts to the many wonders and experiences life offers, leading to a profound and lasting sense of happiness and fulfilment.

This is important. As humans we have a biological bias toward the negative, the dangerous and that which might harm us. It’s hard wired into our DNA. It’s kept us alive as a species. However, as leaders, it means we can spend more time noticing what's going wrong and needs fixing, rather than what’s going right and for which we can give thanks.

This tendency means that gratitude does not always find a natural home in us. We need to intentionally practise it. Gratitude arises when we pay attention to those things that lift our spirits.

It makes a difference. Robert Emmons is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis in California, and has been studying the impact of gratitude on over 1,000 people. He has defined a wide range of benefits, including a stronger immune system, better sleep, greater joy and feeling less isolated.

Sounds like it’s worth cultivating.

How Mindfulness can help.

As Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.” Saying thank you, holding the door for someone, these little moments can change the tone of your whole day.

We know that the brain is maleable. Scientists who have studied this, refer to it as ‘neuroplasticity’, the ability of the brain to rewire itself according to experience. Studies show that one of the most powerful ways to rewire your brain for more joy and less stress is to focus on gratitude

When we are mindful we choose what we are aware of, and where we place our attention, moment by moment. In general, we are more cognitively aware of our ‘headwinds’, the challenges that buffet us and slow us down, than our ‘tailwinds’, the people and our life experiences that help keep us steady and stable when we most need it.  By paying more attention to our tailwinds, studies have shown that we can accentuate feelings of gratitude, happiness, and optimism.

Robert Emmons puts the practice of gratitude simply, noting that it consists of two components. We affirm the good things we’ve received, and we acknowledge the role other people play in bringing goodness into our lives.

In other words we lean into our ‘tail winds’.

Notice your thank you's:
Just how much of a habitual response is it? Is it a hasty aside, or an afterthought? How are you feeling when you express thanks in daily encounters? Why not notice the thank you and make it matter - sharing how what you are thankful for made you feel, how important it was to you, and how much you appreciate it.

Notice the people:
As leaders the greatest gift we can give to those we lead is to express our thanks and gratitude for the work they do. Next time you walk around the school why not tune into feelings of gratitude? Orient your attention to the network of people who make your school the unique place it is. Be aware of how the combined goodwill and effort of so many people make your leadership possible. Then choose to tell them, and thank them.

Build a gratitude practice into meetings:
In this week of Thanksgiving and in the run up to Christmas why not end a meeting by asking 'who are what are we grateful for in this meeting'? Or provide time in a meeting to 'savour the good' by asking  team members to name one good thing that happened, and to describe it in as much detail as possible. When we do this we allow the accomplishment to imprint not just on the individual but also on the team. We bask in it, and it can have a lasting effect on our sense of purpose and belonging.

 Make gratitude visible:
CNN have taken a look at 4 gratitude practices that are simple to do and can be easily woven into your day. I particularly like the one that suggests making a gratitude photo album on your phone so a picture from the album comes up each time you switch your phone on. It's simple and easy but I can see how it would remind me, a number of times a day, to be grateful for what I have and 'lean into the tail winds'