Let it go, let it go,
When I’ll rise like the break of dawn

Let it Go, Frozen

Set the hamster free

I was working with a relatively new headteacher this week and she described how she felt like a hamster in a wheel - running madly, with no escape and with the wheel showing no sign of slowing down.

Those of you who have been in headship for some years will recognise this familiar feeling as you move through the last few weeks of the summer term but are already deep into planning for September. Still unsure about whether or not you will have your school fully staffed come the first day of the new school year.

Sometimes it helps to remember; ‘right now it’s like this and it’s always like this at this time of the year and somehow I manage to get through it OK’.

But what if there were an easier way? What if we could intentionally step off the wheel every now and again and give the hamster a break?.

Here’s how Mindfulness can help.

Letting go, letting be and Mindfulness

Mindfulness cultivates the attitude of letting go, or “non-attachment”. When we say ‘letting go’ we mean letting things be as they are and cultivating new habits of mind that are spacious and accepting of what is, open to how this might strengthen our leadership.

When we are on the hamster wheel it’s easy to fall into ‘autopilot’. Moving through the day at speed, barely present to what’s happening. This gives the mind free rein to roam and ruminate and when it does it tends to fall into negativity bias, telling us we dont have enough time, we have to get everything done before the end of the day and ….. well you know the thoughts that drive the wheel.

Mindfulness is the practice of noticing when we are automatically drifting into negative thinking and then deciding whether or not this is helping or harming us. If the latter ( and it usually is), then we can gently choose to name that thought. One head I know simply says ‘negative Norah’s here again - not right now thanks’. She then chooses to let the thought go ( it takes practice), come back to the present, show herself some kindness by redirecting her thoughts to ‘right now I’m doing the best I can and that’s enough’.

When we practise mindfulness, we become aware of what ‘holding on’ to a thought or an experience feels like. We practice simply being with things as they are, observing and learning from them, moment by moment.

We gradually become experts in what we have a tendency to cling to, whatever that may be, and know we have can, if we wish, choose to ‘let go’.

So, why not practice small acts of ‘letting go’ in the coming weeks? Here’s how…

Let go of ‘the story of you’. 

What stories are you telling yourself about you? 

In my coaching sessions I often hear leaders expressing beliefs about themselves that can sometimes trap them on the ‘wheel’; ‘I need to get everything on my list done before I feel I can leave the building’, ‘I just need to work this out for myself before I share it with others’, ‘If this is going to work it’s really down to me’. In other words, I’m the sort of person who needs to get everything done if its to be done well. If that resonates with you it’s worth asking:

• How do these beliefs about myself show up in my day to day work and life?

• In what ways do they help or hinder me and others? 

• What would it be like if I was instead the sort of person who… was able to triage at the end of the day and let some tasks go, asked for help and invited others in to work things out’, and who believed that others could do things just as well as you can.

See what happens when you explore this. How does it feel?

Let go of busyness. 

Its natural at this time of year to feel stretched with information overload, the list of never ending tasks, the musts and the shoulds that keep us task focused. We can give higher status to busyness than it deserves because without it we might ask – ‘Who am I? What is my worth? If I stopped what might happen?’ But never a wasted moment comes at a cost. It keeps us on high alert, on the wheel, without respite. 

Instead, pause and ask ‘what is the first thing I can let go of today?’ Build ‘speed bumps’ into your day intentionally stopping, letting your attention drop into your body. Count to 5 breaths. Take your time. Then proceed. 

Let go of the need to know.

The mantle of ‘expert’ can weigh heavy on us as leaders. It can imprison us in our expectations of ourselves, and our beliefs about what others expect of us. 

Instead wear the mantle of ‘curiosity’, embracing the practice of exploration and ‘not knowing’, being open to learning and feedback. In the words of Steve Munby in his book Imperfect Leadership become a leader ‘who knows they don't know it all’.

If you have time to go further I highly recommend Jack Kornfield’s ‘letting go’ mindfulness practice. As he says, this is the answer to ‘the art of living wisely’ - perhaps worth a try?