‘Caretake this moment.
Immerse yourself in its particulars.
Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed.
It is time to live fully'

Epictetus
Stoic philosopher: Died 134 AD

Give yourself to this day

I recently co-facilitated a session with Astrid Korin for leaders taking part in ‘Inside Out’, our programme on resilient leadership. We started by sharing our intentions and one of the participants said 'I intend to give myself fully to this day'. Her comment really struck me, and I found myself thinking 'what does it mean to give myself fully to this day?'

Since then, I have been exploring this intention asking 'to what extent am I aware of each moment of this day, open to it and giving myself wholehearted and non-judgementally to it?’

I've begun to notice that giving myself wholly to the day and caretaking each moment, as Epictetus advised, reduces the time and energy I habitually spend on rumination; dwelling on what I might have done differently in the past, or building ( usually false), scenarios about the future. Instead it opens up space in my body and mind in which I can fully inhabit the possibility of each moment.

After all this is the only moment I have to live or lead,
so why not be fully here for it?

How Mindfulness can help.

We slip away from the this day, when we get caught up in mind wandering. Research by Killingsworth and Gilbert noted that a human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Their conclusion was that ‘the ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.’

So this untamed mind not only stops us giving ourselves wholly to this day, it also makes us unhappy.

We also have a human tendency to move away from the present moment either by leaning into that which we like, and wanting to hold onto it, or pulling away from that which we don’t like. Bringing ourselves fully to each day means we practice being with whatever is happening, good or bad, attentive and curious to every experience and what it can teach us.

Leaning into that which we don't want may sound paradoxical but when we give ourselves permission to stay with the feeling of being discomforted without judgment, accepting the world and ourselves as it is right now, we can move more easily through it and as a result, learn more from it.

In my experience it also means staff will feel easier telling us things they know we don't want to hear because they also know we are willing to listen, with an attitude of acceptance and curiosity. They will notice our willingness to bring our whole selves to whatever shows up at our door in order to understand it more fully and deal with it more wisely. That’s a powerful leadership lesson.

Bringing ourselves fully to this day is a practice. So how might we do it?

The Buddha said ‘everything rests on the point of intention’. Entering each day with a clear intention is our path to inner leadership strength and outer leadership effectiveness.

We start by asking what’s my deepest intention today?

This is not a question about what tasks we want to get done, but a question about what matters most to us, and how our values and core principles will anchor us into the day ahead. Questions such as those below can help make our intention visible and re - orient us to giving ourselves fully to each day.

Why not try just one of them as you go live each day next week?

What matters most to me today?
It may be to be there for your staff. This might mean setting an intention to be fully present for every conversation, or noticing and speaking to those members of staff you haven't given any time to recently.

So where do I need to be at my most attentive and fully present today?
Why not take a look at your diary - where is your intention more likely to be activated today in your planned diary moments and how might you make that deliberate and visible?

When I am fully attentive in these moments, what will I choose to model? Perhaps you choose to model 'empowerment', by being silent and giving the other person space to speak encouraging them to 'tell me more'. You may choose to model curiosity by asking more questions rather than jumping in with answers or advice.

What distractions do I choose to notice and 'park' today?
Moments are eaten up with emails, phone alerts, or others colleagues wanting 'just a minute of your time'. We can protect our moments by making a conscious choice to notice these distractions, assess their urgency and then deal with them now or later.

Where might I need to 'lean in' today with acceptance, curiosity and kindness for myself and others?
When you look at your day where are the most difficult moments likely to arise and how will you practice leaning in asking, ‘can I notice when aversion,  judgement or irritation arises, and stay open to what this moment might teach me?’